Wow, I didn’t even realize it’s been months already since my last update on this series! The first and second parts have been really well-received and I hope this next installment would be as helpful and informative for everyone. Again, this “Misconceptions” series is a joint project with the superstar (naks!) Cherish Maningat-Bae, who was just here for a vacation last week. I’m telling you, Cherish is so showbiz now! She was on Showtime, on Flippish, was interviewed by Yahoo and Philippine Star and even guested on DZRH! And if you still haven’t seen the epic video that we did together, YOU BETTER CHECK IT OUT FIRST!
Anyway, I digress… This next part is kind of close to our hearts and I know many will be interested in this, too. After all, I can’t even count the number of girls who tell me that they wanna date Koreans!
We do not in anyway mean to offend anyone, especially Korean men (the love of our lives are after all, one of them). These are all but based on our experiences, observations and other people’s testimonies. Our only objective is to make readers realize that guys from Korean dramas and movies are fictional characters. Even the Kpop idols are not “real”. May this blog series enlighten readers, especially those younger girls who are easily swept off their feet.
Misconception About Korean Men #3: THEY ARE ROMANTIC
“Ugh, I really hate Korean dramas and movies! They’re super liars!”, exclaimed Jimmy Kim in his cute Konglish accent, when I asked him before to give me a piggy back ride in case I got drunk. We were only dating then, drinking with friends, as he shared with everyone his disappointment at how Korean men are being portrayed by their local media. Apparently, he’s not alone. Many Korean guys complain that the TV shows and films raise the expectations so high when they all know none of that shit is true.
Alex of Clazziquai is not very liked by Korean men because of his stint on We Got Married. He was unrealistically romantic, according to them.
Before dating Jimmy, I was one of the many girls who firmly believed that Korean men are just oh so Bae Yong Joon-ish. Imagine how hard I got bitch-slapped by reality when I learned more about them as time went by and it dawned on me that Pinoys are even waaaay more romantic than them! (I won’t use my boyfriend here as an example since he’s not a typical Korean guy in this sense…)
First, Korea is a Confucian society and according to the Confucian structure of society, women at every level were to occupy a position lower than men. They were raised as princes, whereas in my country, women and mothers have always been revered. Heck, before the Spanish came here, our priestesses were women – the babaylans!
I was with a Korean 아저씨 ahjussi (middle-aged man) one time and man, he was totally walking two steps ahead of me! I tried to fasten my pace, but it dawned on me that perhaps, it’s a Korean thing. Well, Cherish confirmed my suspicion. She mentioned, too that they also don’t normally carry their girlfriends’ bags or things or open doors for them. I’m not saying that all Korean men are like that or that it’s a bad thing. It’s like saying that Filipinos are dumb for sleeping from 1pm-3pm. We were raised that way. Shut your face.
Second, they are definitely not vocal about their feelings. Do you expect them to say I love you? GOOD LUCK! Try again next time, girl! Koreans in general are not very expressive about their emotions. The ones who are have probably been exposed to the Western culture already (like Alex). They don’t even kiss or hug their family and friends. If you watch dramas, you’d notice that they only use 사랑해요 saranghaeyo (I love you) in super important and life-altering scenes – when somebody is about to die, when they part ways, when the other person wakes from a coma and forgets everything prior to the accident and his fiancee desperately tries to remind him of their past.
Saying I love you, Korean-style…
They’d normally say 좋아해요 joahaeyo (I like you), which apparently works well for Cherish. For Koreans, saying I love you is serious business so whenever her husband says it to her, it’s kilig to the nth level. However, it does not mean they won’t utter those three magic words just to get you into their beds.
Third is their concept of ‘proposal’ or the lack thereof. This totally made me go “wuuuut?”. Jimmy Kim and I have been nonchalantly talking about our future already- where we’ll raise our kids, where we’ll buy a house and all that other adult stuff. But he has not proposed to me yet. “Oh, he has already decided”, said Cherish when I told her about this. “My husband told me we’ll get married while I was cutting my steak over dinner.”
Basically, a “proposal” for a Korean man is more of an ‘event’ than asking his lady’s hand for marriage. He decides he wants to marry you, you guys talk about it, he proposes to you a month or so before the wedding.
And lastly, in relation to that, they will not introduce you to their parents unless you’re about to get married already (or he truly believes you’re THE ONE). I have tackled this in detail here but just to sum it all up, meeting the parents for the first time is yet another event, often done outside over dinner, where you can all discuss the wedding plans. YES. WEDDING PLANS. ON THE FIRST MEETING. They would only introduce you when they think you would pass their parents’ standards and get their approval or if they really love you.
Again, I’m not saying that every single Korean man is like this. Jimmy Kim isn’t for sure (he has more 애교 aegyo than I do) but this is a pretty clear picture of what the reality is. If you want a romantic guy, maybe you should go for an Italian man? ^^;;
More misconceptions to break soon! Thanks and feel free to share your comments and insights.
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